Reach for Your Summit Blog

Adversity is all around us and it takes many forms. The economy, an automobile accident, money problems, an illness or a death of a loved one are all common occurrences. Many of the adverse situations we will deal with in our lives and businesses are out of our control. What we can control, however, is our reaction to the adversity we face.

A major turning point in my life and business was in 1988 when I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and was told that I would be in a wheelchair or dead within 10 years.  (To read more about my story, go to www.myintothenightbook.com).  The challenges in this adversity were many. The situation attacked every part of my life. It wasn’t just the physical but also the mental, spiritual, relationships and my business endeavors. What could have been the worst day in my life has become my biggest blessing and I would like to share here briefly what I learned.

First, having adversity in our lives is normal. A common reaction to an adverse situation is to ask the question “why?” or ”why me?”  I have found through my life, and with working with my coaching clients over the years, that the answer to a “why” question is very rarely satisfying.

I do believe that asking questions is a great first step but I suggest the questions you ask give you accurate facts of the situation. An example would be ,if you have a financial crisis, it would be beneficial to know your expenses and receivables. When you have accurate facts, you can create an appropriate action plan.

Second, allow your feelings and emotions to propel you forward instead of getting you stuck. When we find ourselves in an adverse situation, it’s common to feel guilt, shame, fear and berate ourselves because we’re acting abnormally. One of my early mentors gave me a quote that put this into perspective.

“Abnormal feelings in abnormal circumstances are normal.” This short little sentence will give you the ability to gain perspective in whatever you’re facing.

Third, take control of your reaction. As you start to deal with an adversity in your life your reaction will lead to the ultimate outcome in your situation. When the doctor told me his opinion of what my life would be like, I was sad, mad and felt like I had been given a raw deal. While those emotions are very normal and I knew I had to process them, I also knew that if I allow those emotions to go inward I would get stuck and the doctor’s words would become my reality.

After the initial point where we become aware of the adverse situation, there is usually a pause where we can ask “now what?” I don’t have a ready-made answer for that question for you. I only know that it is at that moment that you have the opportunity to start taking control of your reaction.

It is my hope, when you face adversity in your life, that you will remember these three steps. I truly believe that adversity creates opportunity and that opportunity creates destinies. Life is an adventure.

Enjoy the ride!

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Over the years, I have described building a business and life in general that it is like running a marathon and not a sprint. Living in Colorado, I have watched the geese migrations. The interesting thing about geese is that you rarely see them flying by themselves. They fly in a group in a V formation. Because of these two facts, the flock of geese is able to fly a greater distance than a single goose could.

So how can we apply this principle in our lives and businesses? Recently, I had the privilege of meeting and hearing Kevin Eastman speak. Kevin is the assistant coach of the Boston Celtics and he shared some of the nuggets of how the Celtics created an atmosphere for winning. Kevin said, “If you want to go fast, go alone; but if you want to go far, go with others”. Wow, when I heard Kevin make this statement, chills ran down my back!

Many times, we all feel the urgency to accomplish tangible results fast. We believe that if we run by ourselves and just put in more effort, that we will accomplish our goals. The challenge is that, at times, we run out of gas before we reach our destination.

For most of us, we have not been taught the principle of “going with others”. ,So, what are some of the steps in creating your own personal “V” formation?

First, determine your strengths. You can do this simply by asking yourself, “What do you enjoy doing?  What comes easily to you?”  My belief is that I want to become excellent at what I’m good at and delegate the rest.

Second, determine your weaknesses. Your weaknesses are normally things that you do not enjoy doing and when you force yourself to do it, the result is only average. In completing this step, you may have the feeling like there is something wrong with you, not being able to do everything yourself. The truth is no one is able to do everything well, and if we don’t outsource our weaknesses we are limiting our results.

Third, identify your success support team. Some possibilities would be an assistant (either virtual or in-house), an accountant (bookkeeper), a coach or a mastermind group. By no means is this list complete. Match your weakness to someone that could do that task faster, cheaper and more effectively. The key here is not to engage with someone just like you, but rather someone who complements you. They are good at and enjoy the tasks that you don’t.

The common myth is, I will create my success support team when my business is big enough. The truth is if you wait until you’re big enough, the odds are you never will.  This is not an overnight process.  Prioritize the areas where you need help and start with that first team member.

Create your own personal V formation and “Go go the distance, with others”

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One of the most common statements that I hear from my business coaching clients and from people when they greet me after one of my speeches is “ I can’t make any more mistakes, they are costing me too much money!”I have thought about this statement over the years since it is so common and wondered if it was true. I decided to do some research about how many mistakes there had been that have created a tremendous amount of money.

First, I think it would be helpful to define what a mistake is. For the purpose of this article, a mistake is any outcome that was not originally intended.  So, with that in mind, here are a few of the products that made it big:

• Coca-Cola
• White Out
• Post It Notes
• Silly Putty
• Cornflakes
• Scotchgard

And the list could go on almost indefinitely.

These products were all created accidentally by mistake. The results of these mistakes, however, are billions of dollars in annual revenues!

So, what makes a mistake valuable? One of my Gary-isms that I have used over the years is “God cannot steer a parked car”. What makes mistakes valuable is our ability to adjust to the outcomes. Many people, when they receive an outcome that is not beneficial to them, simply accept that outcome as their fate.  They don’t take it to the next step of asking questions like “how can I use this result or situation to better my life and the lives of other people?”They see the result as a roadblock instead of just a detour sign.

So, what are the steps then that you can use today to create tremendous value out of making mistakes?

First, continue to make mistakes, faster! This may seem like a stupid statement. I am not saying to go out and blindly engage in activities without knowing what your desired outcome is. What I am saying is, keep moving. If we get frozen with fear of not wanting to make a mistake, we are guaranteeing a negative result.

Second, identify what is working and not working quickly. A fatal mistake is not adjusting your course constantly. Most of the time, it will be the very small adjustments that will produce positive outcomes. An airplane in flight is off course 99% of the time. It’s only by continuously adjusting back to the desired heading that the airplane arrived at the desired destination.

Third, eliminate the belief that making mistakes is bad. Beliefs are one of the most powerful elements in the universe. Quite a statement I know, but beliefs quite literally control our subconscious, which makes it virtually invisible. If we hold on to the belief that making mistakes are bad and wrong, then most likely we will emotionally put our foot on the break of our activities. It would be like if you’re in a car with your right foot on the accelerator pushed all the way to the floorboard, and your left foot firmly planted on the break. No matter how much energy you put the wheels, you’re not going to get to where you want to go.

I encourage you to give yourself permission to engage in risk-making mistakes. When you see making a mistake as an opportunity rather than a disappointment you’ll find yourself creating a life worth living.

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As I was entering my freshman year of high school, my dad told me not to wish my life away. He wanted me to enjoy my high school years. But did I listen? Not really. I was looking forward to driving, earning my own income to spend any way I wanted and to be an adult. With hindsight, my dad was wiser than I thought.

Over the years, I have felt (and the most common complaint that I hear from my coaching clients is) that there is just not enough time. We all know that we each given a brand new 24-hour deposit each day. So why do some individuals seem to get so much more accomplished than others in the same amount of time? I believe the answer is that in order to accomplish more with our time, we have to spend our time on purpose. What do I mean by that? Most people do not see time as an asset; but I believe that the gift of time is our most valuable asset. It’s also an asset that once spent, it can never be duplicated or retrieved. It is simply gone.

If you are like me, you want to receive the best results you can from your time. I would like to share a concept that hopefully will change your thinking about time forever.

Let’s do an exercise. Time, like money, can be very deceptive in its value. With money, we may look at a purchase that is only five dollars per month but, if you annualized the cost, it has now become a $60 investment. Would you make the same purchase with this new information?

Now, let’s look at time. Time is very interesting. We talk about managing time, but can we? Time happens whether we pay attention to it or not. Time does not wait or stands still for us. What we can do with time is to fill it with meaningful activities. To do a time comparison as we did with money, we need to make time visible. What if you could redirect just 10 minutes a day, five days a week for 50 weeks per year? What would that mean to you?  Let’s do the calculation.  10 minutes per day x five days per week = 50 minutes. 50 minutes x 50 weeks = 2500 minutes or 41.6 hours. That’s over one full work week!

Now, if you want to do something really fun, let’s put a dollar value to the equation. As an example, if someone was receiving a $12 per hour wage, that 41.6 hours would equal $500. Just think, what it would mean to you if you were to redirect 20, 30, 60 minutes or more per day?

It’s not always about money. You could also spend your newly redirected time enjoying your family on a vacation, relaxing on a beach or any of thousands of ways that would enrich your life.

To answer the question in the title of this article “Time – is that all there is?”  The answer is yes and it’s enough!

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About 10 years ago, I had a dream where I was playing in a football game. The first strange thing about the dream was that I was playing offense and defense at the same time. As I looked up from my defensive end position, I looked up to my right … up into the stands. What I saw startled me even more because I was looking back at myself. How could I be in three places all at the same time? At that moment, I heard a James Earl Jones type of voice ask, “Are you a spectator or are you a participant?”  As the play was about to start, I looked back at the line of scrimmage. I then heard the voice ask again, “Are you a spectator or are you a participant?” Then the voice added this statement, “The choice is yours.”  There was something comforting and frightening about the phrase “the choice is yours”. I knew that choosing either choice, I would be accepted by the voice.

This dream really disturbed me because I had come to a major crossroad in my professional life. I had produced workshops and had spoken to many groups for the last 20 years, but never had I produced my personal program. I knew the voice in the dream was right. It was my choice, and the choice was to be a participant or to be a spectator. Either decision had its own element of risk. As a spectator, I was not as visible and the risk was seemingly low. The risk however, was that by being a spectator I would never realize my personal vision. If I chose to be a participant, it seemed that my risk would be extremely higher. I would be visible and would be open to possible ridicule and embarrassment. I knew though that only by being a participant would I ever embrace my vision.

Within three weeks, I had designed, produced and delivered my first full day workshop entitled “Financial Magic”. Since that first workshop, I have had many opportunities to ask myself  “Am I a participant or am I a spectator?” This one question has allowed me to open many doors that have taken me towards my vision.

Recently, I had the dream again. It reminded me to consistently ask myself “Am I a spectator or am I a participant?”  So why am I sharing this dream with you? Because I want to encourage you to live life with as few regrets as possible. My suggestion then is to do three things.

First, ask yourself the question “Are you a participant or are you a spectator of your vision?”

Second, embrace your fears. Fear is normal in life. It’s your reaction to fear that will determine your outcomes. Fear can immobilize or it can motivate us forward.

Third, launch! No matter how you answered the first question, you still have to show up.

My encouragement to you is to take these three steps. They are simple and quick and I know you will appreciate the results.

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I’m writing this article at the Detroit Airport flying back to Denver. I’ve just spoken at a Chamber event as well as at the University of Findlay and at Owens Community College.  I shared with all three groups that ultimately everything comes down to one step.

A number of years ago, my son Chris told me he had a present for me because it was Father’s Day. He also wanted to be with me when I opened his present. Now this concerned me for three reasons. First, he knew it was Father’s Day. Second, he had a present for me and third (and most troubling) he wanted to watch me open it.

On Father’s day, I sat on the couch and Chris handed me a shoe box. I timidly lifted the lid and I saw a bungee cord tied down. Chris had been asking to go camping and I thought that was the present. Now, please understand my idea of camping is staying at the Holiday Inn. I enjoy the outdoors, but I want a real bed and shower at the end of the day. I also knew Chris was leaving for college and I wanted to build some lasting memories, so in my mind I said OK.  As I looked up, I caught a look in his eyes that told me I wasn’t going camping – I was going BUNGEE JUMPING!

Two years later, Matt (my oldest son) was moving to Davenport, Iowa. He also wanted to create a special memory with me before he left. Matt and his wife Kelly had taught circus dance at a camp in Pennsylvania. What is circus dance? Great question. It’s basically what you see at Cirqe de sole. Now I had a new adventure ahead of me. I was going TRAPEEZING! Look at the top of this newsletter and you will see a picture of me on the trapeze, and it’s not Photoshopped.

Why am I sharing these stories with you? Because in both adventures it came down to – ONE STEP. Sure there were many steps that I had to take to get to the ultimate step that would get me the result that I desired. I could have taken all of those steps and still never achieved my goal if I had not taken the final one step.  To launch!

Many people have invested a lot time, money and effort into their vision, but don’t receive the reward from these investments. I believe it’s because they don’t take the ONE STEP and LAUNCH. They get stuck. Both on the bungee tower and on the trapeze platform, I had to step into the unknown. I had the little voice shouting in my ears that said, STOP; you’re stepping out into thin air. I knew that in order to receive my goal I had to let go, and take the step into the unknown. In both adventures, a funny thing happened after taking the ONE STEP. I had to put in little or no effort to complete the experience. Gravity took over and all I had to do was to hold on and enjoy the ride.

I want to encourage everyone to take your ONE STEP that will unlock the future of your dreams.  Enjoy your ride!

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Change isn’t good or bad or right or wrong. Change, in a word, is simply “different”. Our belief about the change gives it the positive or negative feelings. We do, however, resist change. The fear of the unknown is very real. So, how can we embrace change to maximize positive results?

First, accept that change is normal. Life would be very boring if every day was the same. The predictability would rob us of our creativity. If change is normal, then possibilities are unlimited!

Second, understand that without change we would not be able to create a vision of our future. Change allows us the opportunity to design our outcomes.

Third, embrace the fact that change will happen without our permission.  We can’t stop change but we can control our reaction to change. The very essence of change is energy which provides potential  momentum. Why potential momentum? Because we have a choice. We can be like deer in the headlights and stand frozen in place or ride the wave of change and receive new and exciting outcomes.

Throughout my personal and business life, I have had many changes that, at first glance, were negative. By adopting the beliefs and actions I’ve just shared, most of those changes have become my biggest triumphs.

Enjoy the Ride!

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As I write this article, I’m enjoying my family in the Colorado mountains. Summit County is the hub for some of the best ski resorts in the country. A week’s vacation is just what the doctor ordered to help me reflect on the past year. “What am I thankful for?” is the question most asked this time of year. So how do I answer? I don’t want to just say the obvious: my wife, children, new granddaughter, the opportunity to work with fascinating coaching clients and more.

While this is all true, it occurred to me also to ask “What obstacles and challenges am I thankful for?” This may sound a little crazy, but our lives and businesses are a reflection of all of our experiences. One of my clients and publisher, Susan Daffron of Logical Expressions, sent me a post on her 25 most thankful things for 2010. I loved the idea of capturing these thoughts and then sharing them.

So, my challenge to you is to create your personal “25 Most Thankful Things” list. Include all of the positives, but also include what is perceived as the negatives. I would ask you to take an additional step. After each entry describe why you are thankful for it. An example of how you can be thankful for a challenging situation is when I was diagnosed with MS. While it wasn’t what I wanted, it has had a profoundly positive outcome. I don’t take life for granted. It gave me the need to create a visioning process that change my life and the lives I touch. I could go on, but you get the idea.

My hope is this: as you experience this Thanksgiving exercise, you will embrace all of the events of the past year as a whole. As you do, you will have a clearer focus of where your next year can take you.

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The number ONE is the most important number. A Three Dog Night song (if you’re under 30, Google it) said that “One is the loneliest number”.  Yet we strive to be “Number ONE”.  The number ONE is sometimes associated with being a “Winner”, but that isn’t why I’m excited about the number ONE.

When I’m speaking to a group or coaching individuals I’m focused on the “ONE”.  Why?

Every number has to go through the number one.  If my vision is to receive $100,000, I first have to receive $1.  You now may be thinking “DA”, tell me something I don’t know.  But, let me ask you, “is it easier and less intimidating to focus on the $1 or the $100,000?”  I would guess the $1.

Every project has a “First Step”.  When we skip the “First Step,” the project usually fails. At the very least, the end results are not predictable.

The most important reason why the number ONE is most important is that it is impossible to focus on more than one thought at a time. To experience this truth, think about something sad and happy at the same time. Frown and smile at the same time. If your experience is like mine, you now know what I am proposing is true.

So, what’s my point? In our lives we are bombarded every day with opportunities and options in every area of our lives.  How do we then decide which ones to embrace “First”?

• Decide what “one” action is most valuable to your vision.
• Ask the question “Does this decision lead me to my vision or away from my vision?”

You may feel like embracing one decision or task at a time is too slow.  What you will find is the results won’t add 1-2-3-4, but provide results that multiply 2-4-6-8.

Enjoy the ride ~ You’ll be glad you took the trip!  And please share your experience with me.

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You have just come back from a very successful networking evening event and you have twenty-five brand new business card leads. As you drift off to sleep, you know that tomorrow will be a really productive day. The following morning when you get to your desk you still feel great, but then it happens. You look at the new cards sitting on your desk and you feel the first twinge of uncertainty of who to call first. You begin to wonder if this is the best time to call and look for another activity to do, promising yourself you’ll get to the calls soon.

Does this story sound familiar? I know I did this in my sales career. But why? For me, I was always deciding who I wanted to connect with first instead of identifying who wanted to connect with me first. When I realized what mattered was to determine my contacts timing and not mine, a pattern emerged. I now call it Now-Later-Never.

Most sales and marketing trainings teach you to have A, B and C clients and prospects. While this can be helpful in showing you where you would want to invest your time, it doesn’t tell you the timing.

So, let’s break the NOW-LATER-NEVER system down.

A NOW connection is anyone that allows you to engage with them to potentially solve their need.

A LATER connection is anyone who sees you as a possible solution to their need, but they’re not ready to proceed now.

A NEVER connection is anyone, for whatever the reason, who will not connect with you.

You may now say “OK Gary, that’s pretty obvious. But how can I tell who is in what category?” Great question! The answer is your contact does.  Many times we are just not listening.   The key is to ask questions of the contact that will identify their timing. Some sample questions would be:

• Would you be open to getting together next week?
• If you found the answer to “X”, what would it mean to your business?
• When were thinking of implementing that idea?

Listen for the timing in the story they tell you.

It’s also critical to know what a NOW or LATER contact looks like for you:

• Does your personality match the contact?
• Do they have the ability to pay your fee or purchase your product?
• Are they able to make decisions?

Be clear with yourself what your perfect client looks like and you will create relationships that will last a lifetime.

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